'YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF...'
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection tobeer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but youcan't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon'unclean.'
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives inyour clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other thansetting off roadside bombs.
9. You've ever uttered the phrase, 'I love what you've done with yourcave.'
10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own atleast one.
11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
12. You've had a crush on your neighbor's goat.
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