An actual letter to the passport office

Dear Sir:

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a TV cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date. For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my social security card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight goddamn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times. Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert, and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!SHIT!

I apologize; I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my f*ckin' address. What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthal assholes working there! Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone! Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another f*ckin' copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe makes sense. You'd rather have us running all over the f*ckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some asshole to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (f*ckin' morons) Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off!

Signed - An Irate f*cking Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776. I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the ying yang. However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST f*cking CHINA !

From the "So who gives a $&it" file

How to pronouce the name of the leader of Iran.

Click me.

Kid politics

I remember the time that Kathryn, one of my daughter's little friends, told me that she wanted to be President one day. Bothof her parents are liberals and were standing there with us - and Iasked Kathryn, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'

Kathryn replied, 'I would give houses to all the homeless people.'
'Wow, what a worthy goal you have there, Kathryn.' I told her, 'You don't have to wait until you are President to do that, you can comeover to my house and clean up all the dog poop in the back yard and Iwill pay you $5.00. Then we can go over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $5.00 to use for a new house.'

Kathryn, who was about 5, thought that over for a second while her mom looked at me, and then she replied, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and clean up the dog poop and you can pay him the$5.00?'

Bingo! Welcome to the Republican Party, Kathryn.

She can't help herself

Lawyers coming to the rescue once again

I watched an interview on CSPAN on Friday. Cities all over the country are suing mortgage lenders for lost tax revenue and the burden of safeguarding neighborhoods with vacant, foreclosed properties. Brad Blower, who represents the city of Baltimore in its suit against Wells Fargo bank, talked about this new strategy in battling the effects of a nationwide increase in foreclosures. He responded to telephone calls and electronic mail. The interview with the lawyer suing Wells Fargo is here (click one of the icons on the right to watch).

It occurs to me that if WF refused to loan to a certain racial group because they think that the debtor will not satisfy the requirements of the loan, then they will get sued for a civil rights violation. In this video, this shyster is suing them because they DID. How can a mortgage company do business without being sued?

The Round Mound of Rebound quip

Quote of the week from our esteemed friend Sir Charles Barkley:

"Poor People have been voting for Democrats for the last 50 years, and they are still poor."

Patton on Iraq

New element discovered

Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Minorities

We need to show more sympathy for these people.

They travel miles in the heat.
They risk their lives crossing a border.
They don't get paid enough wages.
They do jobs that others won't do or are afraid to do.
They live in crowded conditions among a people who speak a different language.
They rarely see their families and they face adversity all day every day...

I'm not talking about illegal Mexicans, I'm talking about our troops! Doesn't it seem strange that many Democrats and Republicans are willing to lavish all kinds of social benefits on illegal's, but don't support our troops and are now threatening to cut funding for them?

Good answer

Some "dirtbag" in Polk County Florida who got pulled over in a routine traffic stop ended up "executing" the deputy who stopped him. The deputy was shot eight times, including once behind his right ear at close range. Another deputy was wounded and a police dog killed. A statewide manhunt ensued.

The low-life was found hiding in a wooded area with his gun. SWAT team officers fired and hit the guy 68 times.

Now here's the kicker:

Naturally, the media asked why they shot him 68 times. Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd, told the Orlando Sentinel :

"That's all the bullets we had!" (Talk about an all time classic answer!!!)